take me home,
to the place,
- John Denver
this weekend i said goodbye to my childhood home. the home where my parents raised me. where i made and lost friendships. and love. where we celebrated birthdays and mourned deaths. where we laughed and cried. partied and rested. the place where, no matter all the things this world has thrown at me over the years - good and bad (but especially bad), i was always welcome. the place where i always belonged.
there are many changes going on in our lives right now. big changes across the board. and i can't quite articulate all of my feelings about leaving this house specifically, because they are undoubtedly tied up in other feelings i have about these other things. i can say simply, that i'm sad to go. i'm sad this weekend was the last dad and i will plant our garden out back. i'm sad these were the last nights spent in the most quiet corner of the house which was luckily "my room" for 26 years. i'm sad to be leaving that familiar space, smell and sight of my home base. is it weird to feel like you're saying goodbye to a friend? a friend that holds all your secrets and memories - even more than you do, maybe?
i'm thankful to my parents for what they created. i'm lucky i got so much out of that spot for so long. and i'm lucky i got to show it to my babies. i'm also lucky to know there's great to come in the new home my parents have chosen that they will of course easily make so welcoming and comfortable for me/us.
having babes of my own now, i understand how important it is to have a home that shelters them, welcomes them. i understand the importance in building a home to which they will always know and want to come back. my parents did that for me and it's my goal to do that for mine.