arriving right in time.

so so true. i recently was talking to a friend about how sometimes i reflect back where i was and am really amazed at where i've ended up. many moons ago, there was a time this gal never dreamed of being a wife or living in boston or even working a steady 9 to 5. call it being young or, let's be real, stubborn...but i just couldn't fathom certain levels (OK, any level) of organized consistency in my life. i never would've paired myself with a harvard lawyer, waiting out the snow-filled new england winters only to enjoy long summer days on the cape or north shore (on our time off from the firms, of course!).

i was kinda obsessed with not having any direction so i could be open to it all. oh, young, crazy me (although, i think i've done good!). then, after meeting e, i kinda became obsessed about having a plan. i wanted to create a timeline for my life. (i found out quickly that's the biggest joke of all).

this recent move has had me reeling. have we over-stayed our time in boston? should we have bought a place? did we make the right decision about "this" and do the right thing about "that?" basically, i've been asking myself, "What are we DOING?!?" sometimes i feel that because e and i are certain ages or have been together a certain amount of time, there are certain things that we should be doing - or have done already. so i feel in some ways i'm back here again, wondering where we are going and wanting to find an answer.

this is a nice reminder that no one really knows. maybe there's a general direction, but the location or timing is never disclosed until, well, you arrive. so thanks to mr. watterson, i'm telling myself to continue taking it all in, in stride and right in time.
xox  

lucky #4

today marks my and e's 4th anniversary, and i just can't believe how fast time has flown. it seems like so many huge things have happened over these 4 married years, (5 years since engagement/move to boston and almost 8 years together!) and i realize that it's true. 2 years ago e finished law school and last year he was sworn in. this year, in just 1 week we'll be leaving our home - all we've known up here and together - for a new place over in somerville. we're swapping some outdoor space for a bit more indoor room and we'll decrease our number of neighbors in the building from about 12 to just 1.

as we pack up 5 years of memories, i'm reminding myself to relish all we've saved, collected and been gifted. i try to push thoughts of how we'll never set foot in our first little apt once we leave on the 8th out of my head when they creep up late at night. i remind myself i've felt this before and i aim to focus on new beginnings on which we're embarking.

because we've been somewhat successful in our packing endeavors, this will be the first year we won't go through our wedding album and guest book, or watch our dvd. but that's just fine by us. we're ad-libbing by taking a detour from our traditions and spending a night out on the town in boston. knowing this won't be the last hiccup we encounter on our special day over the years, it makes me confident we'll be just fine when we do.

i look back on these past 4 years with pride knowing that they haven't been all rainbows and wedding cake but they've been SO much fun, surprising and definitely successful. they're only this sweet because i have my best friend and the love of my life who aims to make every day - not just this one - so special. i'm eternally grateful every single day for the partner that i found in e and most importantly for the the woman he's helped me become. but the biggest shout out goes to my sis, who was relentless in her determination to bring us together. ultimately, we're the product of her love. happy anniversary, e!

angels among us

i saw this on facebook and since i don't really re-post things on that outlet but wanted to share, i decided to do it here.

i've been praying for a handful of personal things lately but a few weeks ago, when i got some news about my dad that had us all possibly facing the big "C" word again, i dropped all selfish requests and focused on him. after 3 anxious weeks we got good news today about his health and i've never felt more sure of something bigger and better above me than i do now.

i don't focus on religion - more just spirituality - and i rarely ask questions like, "why" or "how" when it comes to down to things being just plain wrong. but i reverted back to some old ways (as in, those of a child) these last few weeks and was downright whining about how unfair this situation was. by no means do i think my moodiness helped turnaround this outcome, as i was raised to know you don't get what you want by pouting. but i do believe my hopes and prayers weren't ignored.

so when i saw this today, there couldn't have been a bigger sign that my thinking about that something bigger and better being out there was not far from the truth.

#bostonstrong

after the marathon tragedy, boston.com asked readers what they love most about this city. they received hundreds of responses, but posted a few on their site today. they're fun to look through, some are so simple, some more complex. but all holding a tone of true love for this "large town."

5 years ago i started this blog so i could catalog my time here. i read back on old entries often and think to myself how it's one very long love letter that traces my relationship with boston from meeting, through the first days of courtship to a full-blown love affair. i've recorded our "fights" through hard winter weather and rude encounters, and i've shared our apologies, acted out by the budding spring, trips to the cape, colorful falls and random acts of kindness.

there are so many reasons i love this place and i'm so thankful that i can easily refer back to most of them. but perhaps, more than any of these, i'll love boston most for showing me so many things that i'd never known about myself, this world and others.